How to turn pain into purpose
Is it possible to turn your pain into purpose? Most of us have gone through painful time in our lives some more than others. Sometimes the pain you go through may paralyze you to an extent that you feel as if you are sinking into a very dark place. The important thing to remember is it is possible to re-frame your life and transform the pain into a purpose. I am not saying this is easy but with help and willingness it is.
After my first child I had two ectopic pregnancies. The second one was even more painful because I was carrying twins. I lost one and had hope that the other would live but after a month I found myself back in theatre having to not only lose my baby but to have my last Fallopian tube removed as well. The days, months and years that followed were the most difficult. I was grieving and it was a difficult process.
It is better if you had seen your child and laid them to rest, I only woke up with a scar, no goodbyes. I developed severe migraines and I was in and out of the A&E more times than I could remember. It was at one of these A&E visits that this kind-hearted doctor took time to read my notes. He sat me down and asked me in a way which made me open up, all the pain just came gushing out into the open. And that began my road to re-frame my life and transform my pain to purpose.
What are the steps to follow in this process
Having a framework and support is very important. It is as important as the commitment you put in.
Step 1: Acknowledge the pain
Acknowledging my pain and understanding where it was coming from was the beginning of my healing. I came to understand that the migraines were a product of something deep inside which had not healed. I turned my purpose to fostering and that gave me joy and healing.
Step 2: Make your life about the future
Stuff might have happened to hurt you but dwelling on it will not make things better. Find purpose and concentrate on it as way of healing. It is important to resist the victim mentality because this makes you wallow and feel sorry for your yourself. This kind of self-pity retards healing and leaves your wounds open and row. There is a danger of getting stuck in self-pity and being a victim when reflecting. Reflect only to learn lessons and move on.
Step 3: Use Your experience to help others
There is a saying that “experience is the best teacher”. This is very true, someone who has gone through an experience and come out of it is the best person to teach about it. Be ready and open to teach others the lessons. Share with others as sharing gives hope. You also get involved in charity work. I got involved with compassion international where I sponsor a child from a poor background. It gives me so much joy when I get letters from my sponsor child knowing that I am making a difference in his life. That is priceless.
Seek professional help
Sometimes it is a good thing to seek help in order to find ways of dealing with your wounds. I offer a 15-week program where we use different strategies to turn pain into purpose. I share my experiences and also help my clients to find their own purpose out of the pain they have. The program offers a total of 7 steps which helps you in your journey.
Learn more about the Strategies to turn pain into purpose
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